The Diary of a Nymphomaniac

Diario de una ninfomana as its original Spanish title, Diary of a Nymphomaniac as the US title, and Diary of a Sex Addict as its international title. This movie is a chronicle of the life of a middle-class French girl`s sexual adventures, her then fall into prostitution, and her ultimate redemption.

I am fond of watching European movies the past days, a step out of the usual Asian and American movies that I watch. I am loving French movies and as I am searching for a good movie to watch yesterday, I saw this and it interests me so I did not hesitate to download it.

I am not used to watching videos and films with people having sex like porns and hentais though I am okay with it. This is actually the first movie I have watched with really erotic scenes. I don`t find this movie offending but find it classy instead. There`s a lot of sex scenes and I don`t find it offending, I find it lustful yes, but with the accompaniment of a good musical score, I find it classy instead.

Its about the struggles of a woman that is engaged in sex and doesn`t know how to handle it altogether with love and life. A movie that shows how the society sees prostitution and on how people look and treat bitches and whores.

This is a totally new movie among all the others that I have watched and I guess this is a good movie. A good movie for the open-minded person. This is not just another sex movie, this is a classic movie showing the other side of sex, what is sex, what sex can give, and what sex cannot give you.

I actually have problems with the subtitle of this film, it doesn`t go with the video, it`s like 10 seconds earlier than the video but all`s fine, heh.

Week 01/52

Soulmate

009/365: Soulmate

Is it possible Mr. Lovable is already in my life? Right in front of me or maybe you’re in disguise.

I have this nodding grandpa figurine since 2007`s Christmas party. I got this as an award together with my friend,Justin for the Soulmates category when we`re in 4th year high school. Yup, we`re voted as soulmates, haha! I can still remember how kilig I get those days. *u* And I can still remember how I believed that we really are soulmates.

I have grandpa with me and he has grandma with him. We used to call them lolo and lola though. (This prize is actually my idea, eh. I`m the class president, I have the power, (lol) and since I already know the results, I picked the nicest prize for us. :-) We only have a 10-peso budget for every award but since I find this really cute and since I know I`ll be the one getting it, I made an exception, I bought lolo and lola for 20 pesos each. Haha!)

Yeah, nodding figurines of cute old people, which I assumed and made them look like a couple as a prize. I have that idea eh, that soulmates, forever… until we grow old, loving each other forever. I actually believed he`s my soulmate, `cos back that time, he`s that guy, that guy I think I have given my heart for. But as time passes by, the two of us are growing apart. The closeness we have, well we had, can be found nowhere. We barely see each other. We haven`t made a good conversation for ages which I think is funny `cos back in high school, we can talk about anything, like anything at all. No dead-airs. But now, it all has changed. And seriously, I don`t even have his contact number.

And now I have realized, I can`t set things to happen on my own. Things change. But I still haven`t learned. Like last year, I have set my mind and I believed I found the one I`m going to marry. I really felt like he`s the one for me. Yeah, just like what I felt towards Justin, just make it triple. I was like so sure I could die but then again, I was wrong. He can be the guy I would love to marry, yes - but I should have not looked at it the way. I should have not set things for myself the way I wanted it to happen `cos most of the time, I`ll only get sad and disappointed. Haha!

And now, Lolo is a sweet reminder of those days. Those days in which I can now say, I have loved (I think?) and learned. Lolo is displayed in my room ever since I got him, except the days I lost my hope in love (funny but true,) I keep him inside the cabinet instead.

I may not get to notice him everyday but seriously, Lolo has always been special to me. He`ll still be a reminder of my soulmate, my real soulmate who is yet to come, and I wonder who that possibly is. But if I were to choose, I want him to be someone I know for so long. Like someone who`s been there for me as I have also been there for him, but the two of us still doesn`t know. Not just yet. I think that would be really sweet.

Oh well. To my soulmate, wherever you are… don`t worry I`m not rushing nor waiting. But I just want to let you know that I am so excited to know who you really are. :-)

Another fact: Justin and I also won the love team of the year award, together with Paolo and Giannina. We have a couple heart necklace as prizes. Yup, half of the heart`s with him, the other half is with me. I still can remember how we put each other`s necklace. So awww. <3

PS Justin`s grandma got broke when we`re in first year college but he still has it whole, thanks to the glue. :-) I don`t know if it`s still displayed in their living room but I think it`s not there now.

January 5th VS January 6th

January 05

• Almost frozen - damn cold.
• mind-blanked during the quiz
• caught unprepared for our report
• munch on some brownies
• hospital, operations, pregnancy and whatnots convo with seatmates
• Art-slash-Sleeping-subject with Ferry and Chugi
• Chicharong bulaklak overload (with three cups of rice!)
• 11:11 :">
• stomach pain D:
• LOL time with MACC boys
• saw him for the first time this year, aww. (I miss him so much~!)
• Kulitan time with him. Another him, k.
• shop with Cathy at the mall
• meet Kenneth to give their copy of the video. (Finally!) O hai, I`m sarcasmgirl. LOL
• sit next to a cute guy in the trike, too bad he isn`t straight.
• too sleepy so sleep - 3 PM
• and I haven`t waken up. not until my family came home, about 7 PM (I woke up for a minute to open the door) and about 01:10 AM (I`m so lazy to wake up so I sleep again.)
• I haven`t post my Project 365 entry and my daily text post too.

January 06

• woke up just fine (Who`ll not feel fine getting 14 hours of sleep, ha?)
• not so cold today, great. (I just can`t tolerate such low temperature, haha!)
• excited to eat breakfast for I haven`t eaten anything since the last day.
• watched OgRe`s exchange of wedding vows video again. (Yeah, for the nth time) So sweet!
• re-view Proposal Daisakusen`s special preview and yes, I cried still. (I was like crying inside the room while the professor is discussing, haha!)
• daldalan with the MACC boys
• made two shirt designs for Ferry and one for myself. ;)
• I lectured (first time) on my Entrepreneurial class.
• I have recited daw. Hahaha~! Mr. Tabulina actually recognized that as a recitation and that I got the right answer. Oh, man. That`s unexpected, LOLOL. Am proud of myself.
• Heartbreak!!! <|3 No more Chicharong bulaklak left for us. :( I haven`t eaten a piece today. Super saaadddd.. OMG, this feeling. I am soo craving. :'(
• went to the mall with Ferry to buy a gift for his boyfriend`s cousin.
• I bought scramble and chips before heading home. But nothing can beat chicharong bulaklak pa rin. :(
• I decided to clean my room. Yep, legit cleaning. (with all the fixing, sweeping, and mopping)
• I haven`t started designing because of the grass fire, ish.
• have been a fire woman, I actually watered the damn fire started by our wicked neighbors.
• I realized if I were sleeping again just like yesterday, I might have been dead toasted now.
• I found our long lost land title. Yay!! (I blackmailed my parents of course!) I received moolah in exchange of the the title, haha!
• And since I`m pretty productive today, I also swept and mopped the living room and wash the dishes too.
• I made my brother a t-shirt design for their family day. Nice to hear good feedbacks from his classmates. ;)
• I have posted my Project 365 entries na.
• And now I`m really sleepy that I wanna sleep. Marathon is again canceled.

It`s 02:30 AM and I`m Happy

I`ve never been this proud of myself. The oh-shit-at-last-you-can-now-keep-up kind of proud. It feels like I`m getting back to my usual self. I always say the same on my previous posts but hell, I`m lying back then. Because this is my usual self. This is my real usual self. Only now.

I swore to myself I will avoid posting about how I feel towards that certain someone back then anymore but I just can`t help not to. This is not an i-still-like-him-and-i`m-still-kilig-about-this-and-that-sort-of-stuff kind, this is about me coping up. This is not about him anymore. This is about me.

It was too late until I realized that I have focused only on him. My blog posts are almost about him, but not anymore. From now on, it will all be about my life. There`s more to life than those kahitaran-slash-kadramahan posts. Eh.

I am so proud to say that I rarely think about him. I seem to care less whether he`s online or not. I even saw him this afternoon and yeah, its just casual. Not so ordinary but it`s not also a sort of something special. I still get to talk to him but I was not that giddy like I used to. We talk and I never felt any awkwardness. I`m not that conscious anymore about the things I say and I might say. I speak my mind. I don`t mind what his reaction will be. Everything is just plain natural. I even read a post from him like he`s admiring someone and all that, and much to my surprise, I was not hurt. I did not feel any hurt like a pinch on my heart or anything. I actually put up a smile because I find his post cute, you know a post from a guy crushing on someone. Cute. I`m actually happy for him, whatever it may be. We`re friends, eh? And that`s what matters most, above all. This feeling. Isn`t it downright fabulous?

I`ve never felt this contented. I am happy with my life now. I even told Ferry earlier that I`ve never felt sad this year yet. At least not yet. My feelings, the weather, everything just fits in. I may not have enough sleep the past days, (well I believe I have enough sleep though, it`s just that I do not sleep on time. I`m sleeping in the afternoon, I`m awake at night. Very nocturnal.) but I have never felt this better. I am enjoying everything now. This kind of feeling is priceless. I`ll continue living this life (may it be a happy or a sad one) at its fullest. Yup, I`ve never been this proud of myself.

Brand New, Eh?

First day of a new year. 2011. :-)

I am so excited about this year. I wonder how my life would be. Another 365 days. 365 days to enjoy my life. Will I get better? (I hope so.) Will I grow taller? (Yep. I jumped last midnight.) Will I be fatter? (Oh, no. Please no.) Will I get even good grades? (Ehem.) Will I be happier? (I`ll surely do.)

Another year to waste. No, I won`t waste a day. I`ll live every single day at its fullest. I wish this year would be awesome-r than my 2010. Some people say, 2010 is such a waste. That it should be forgotten and move on. Well, no. Not for me. There`s no wasted year. If it`s wasted, then who`s to blame? We live our lives. It`s not our lives who live on us. 2010 may be a pretty tough year for me but I don`t regret a thing about it.

In 2010, I have loved. I experienced sadness and pain. I feel betrayed. I feel so alone. I feel ignored. But despite everything, I am here still looking back on the year that was. It`s still a year I will forever love. It`s a year that I can say, I have learned a lot.

And now, here`s another year to put me to a test. I am ready for anything. I will give this year my best.

I wonder:

will I have new friends?

will I lose friends?

is there someone who`ll court me?

will I fall in love with someone?

will I get a boyfriend? or a girlfriend maybe?

will I get my heart broken? Oh please, not again.

will I be a part of the Dean`s list?

am I still studying by the end of the year? Hell, yes. Silly.

will I get a good camera? Oh pleaaassee.

is my family still complete?

will I learn to draw better?

will I learn to take better shots?

if I can make someone be mad at me?

am I still writing?

if I can learn how to cook really good food like Mommy?

will I grow taller?

will I learn how to drink?

will I get drunk? Or really wasted perhaps? How many times?

will I get embarrassed? In what way?

will I be broke?

how many movies am I going to watch this year?

how many books am I going to read?

will I learn how to wake up early?

will I still be lazy?

will I get to hang-out with my friends?

will I get thinner? Even just a bit.

will I cry a lot?

will I be tougher?

how many crushes will I get?

will I be a crush of someone?

will I still be healthy?

will I be still sleeping a lot? Haha, no wonder.

will I get injured?

There`s a whole lot more things that I wonder about. It`s fun to think about the things that I wanted to happen and the things that may happen. I am looking forward to see how I have turned as a person starting today, January 1, 2011 until December 31 of this year. I know, New Year is not the only day for change but yeah, I just love the fact that I feel so brand new. This is a good beginning.

I`m turning 19 this year. I`ll be in my fourth year too. What else? I don`t know. I`m not sure on how things would turn out. And with that, I am scared and excited at the same time. I don`t know what might happen but that`s what life is all about, eh. So might as well, enjoy the ride and every journey of this life.

Welcome 2011. I am Kathleen and we`ll be good friends. *hugs* :-)