I`m So Not Alone

May sakit ka mahal? Anu `yun? Bakit? May gamot ka na mahal? Musta pakiramdam mo? Pahinga ka na mahal ko, para gumaling ka na, kain ka mabuti, wag ka papagutom, `wag ka na muna magpupuyat para lumakas ka... ingat ka na lang mahal ko...i love you

- Jamica Agapito, 26 April 2011

Mabuti pa si mahal ko, sobrang nag-aalala sa kalagayan ko. Hindi naman malala, pero siyempre iba pa rin talaga yung may nag-aalaga. At siya lang yung mayroon ako ngayon. Salamat kasi kahit paano, nababawasan yung bigat ng nararamdaman ko. Salamat, Mica.

20April`11: Mickath`s Seventh

It`s Mica and I`s 7th week! Yay! This is so special to us, specially to Mica kong mahal `cos 7 is her favourite number. I really have no idea on how I can make her extra happy this week. There are a lot of things I still don`t know about her -- her favourite stuff, things that make her happy... that`s why I`m having a difficult time to think on what I should give her this week. I seriously don`t want to disappoint her `cos she`s so excited for this 7th week. I want her to be happy and I guess I just did.

We don`t usually meet on Wednesdays because we both have work but since this 7th is special, we really make it a point to meet and hang-out. This relationship is cute, I swear. It feels like we`re really a couple... like we really are together. But we actually aren`t. We`re just enjoying our moments together and somehow acting like we really are one. Just because we`re enjoying and having fun doesn`t mean everything is just a joke and none of it wasn`t real, we do love each other, as friends, the best-buddy-kind-of-friends, and we call each other Mahal. It`s really cute and sweet.

So I gave her these for this week:

A pretty silver ribbon earrings. I super liked it like personally, and so I gave it to her instead be used by me.

A self-made poem using her initials.

A three-paged letter

A doodle I made with a quote about love and weirdness I read on Tumblr

A pattern of my right hand, Mica`s favourite thing to do.

A copy of a letter I made before. A letter for my future boyfriend. ;-)
A printed cutie-patootie photo I found on Tumblr that expresses how I wish she`s with me.
This is the envolope I`ve used with my packaged letters

Go Get A Girlfriend

I sometimes wish you go get a girlfriend. Like now. I know that will hurt me deeply into the bones. But I think that`s the only way to get things better. I may be hurting but I think that`s the only way I can finally tell myself, that you`ll never be mine... that I can finally let you go. But you getting a girlfriend makes me think things will be at its best. `Cos I`m still hoping, that when that time comes you have a girlfriend, you`ll realize something... this may sound mean but I am hoping you`ll realize that she`s not enough, that she`s different, that it`s not love. I wish you`ll realize that you`re happier whenever you`re with me. I wish you`ll realize it was me you really love. And yes, that leaves us to two options. So please, go get a girlfriend.

Date a girl who takes photographs

Date a Girl Who Takes Photographs

Date a girl who takes photographs. Date a girl whose favorite sound is the click-click of the shutter as it closes and opens to capture a memory. Date a girl who sees the wonder in the simplest things. Date a girl who looks at the world and wonders how to put a little of herself in it.

You might find her in the park, lost behind her lens, the world a blur around her as she tries to capture a single moment in time. You might find her in an exhibit, a look of concentration on her face as she contemplates a photograph that called out to her as she was passing by. Or maybe you will find her in a bookstore, a book in her lap as she pores over photographs of weddings all the while wondering what hers would look like.

Take her out to photo walks and laugh as she tries to take a picture of you. When she gets tired of walking, buy her cupcakes but wait until she has taken pictures of them before proceeding to eat them. Listen as she tells you her ideas for a photo shoot on the ride home.

Take her to a restaurant and wait patiently as she surveys the menu carefully, appreciating the food photography. And again, wait until she has taken a photo of your food before digging in. Allow her introduce you to Ansel Adams while you both eat your lunch. Introduce her to your favorite musician as you wait for the bill to arrive. When you get home, change your Facebook profile picture into a photograph she took of you. She silently hoped for it.

Take stolen shots of her. Compile it and give it to her on her birthday. Tell her you love her over and over until your voice replaces the click of the shutter as her favorite sound. Kiss her after she lifts her head up from the camera. Give her camera-shaped necklaces. Go places with her.

You will never be bored again.

Date a girl who takes photographs. She will never whine about a little dirt on her favorite pair of jeans as she kneels down to get a better angle of her subject. She will never be afraid to take adventures with you. She will take photographs of you not just with her camera but with her mind as well and keep it to herself to admire at night. But above all, she will teach you how to look at the world with a brand new perspective and she will do that unknowingly.

Marry a girl who takes photographs. Ditch those wedding photography books and give her the most beautiful wedding you could. She will teach your kids to find the beauty in everything just as she had taught you. Every day will be an adventure as she tries to create memories photograph-worthy with you. She may wake you up in the middle of the night because she is buzzing with ideas but she will make it up in the morning with a stack of hot pancakes beside a steaming cup of your favorite coffee blend.

Grow old with a girl who takes photographs. Sit with her on the front porch as you both pore over the bits and pieces of the moments you’ve had together. Stroke her hair as you both relive the photo walks that you took and the places you have been when you were both young. Smile as you both reenact your clever wedding vows.

Date a girl who takes photographs because she will always see that “something” in the most “nothing” of things. She will never let anyone take you away from her like she never lets anyone steal her photos and that is just one of the evidences that she loves you.

Mahal

Oo nga mahal, kung ikaw yung kasama ko nag-passaayain sana kita magmeryenda muna sa labas, treat ko kumbaga dahil super saya ko kanina! Kaso wala eh, siya! Nahihiya lang talaga ako pag mahal ko yung isang tao... and `yun na nga... mahal kita kaya siguro nahihiya ako. Alam mo mahal, kung pwede lang talaga, tayon na... As in... alam mo `yun, forever hanggang kasal, kaso unfair talaga ang mundo.

~JSA

-START WEEK 3-

"Kaso after nu`n, may nangyari na hindi maganda... sobra... and I`m sure hindi mo `yun makakalimutan... haha... grabe talaga yung Saturday na `yun, punong-puno ng emosyon... bumabaha ng luha... at dumudugo ang mga puso."

"Tapos yung time naman nagusto na kitang kausapin, umurong na dila ko... ayoko sanang isulat `to dito sa letter ko kasi malungkot, kaso may other side kasi nang nangyari `to na nagustuhan ko... lalo kitang minahal, mahal... as in...."

"Basta mahal, anu man ang mangyari, kahit ilang "f" pa dumating sa`tin... di mag babago... ang nararamdaman ko sa`yo, "MAHAL PA RIN KITA" at "MAS MAMAHALIN PA KITA" sa mga susunod na araw...

"Alam mo mahal, sa dami ng mga naging kaibigan ko, (well actually, kaunti lang sila, compared sa mga kaibigan mo, pero for me, marami na sila, haha!) ikaw lang yung super na minahal ko... as in parang special friend na kita... nandito ka na ohh... dito... dito sa "<3" ko, at mawawala ka lang dito, kapag tumigil na tibok ng puso ko.. hahaha (OMG sa lalim!) (Nalulunod ako, di pa naman ako marunong lumangoy, haha!)"

"Kasi parang ang sarap lang sa feeling na tayo talaga kasi alam nating mahal na mahal natin ang isa`t-isa... `di ko nga alam na magiging ganito tayo ehh..."

"Pero ngayon hindi na... kasi tayo na... akin ka na... haha at hindi na kita pakakawalan..... Medyo intense na ba mahal? Kasi feeling ko medyo lumalagpas na tayo sa du`n sa level natin.. haha.. pero pakielam ko.. masaya naman ako.. masaya ka rin naman diba.. masaya tayo!!! MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA!!! Sobrang ngayon lang ako nagkaganito.

"Mahal, may I ask you something? Sa dinami-dami ng kaibigan mo, I wonder lang naman kung nasaan ako du`n.. Sa`n yung place ko at pang-ilan ako? Kasi I feel na hindi naman ako ganu`n ka-special para maging... alam mo na... kaya natanong ko lang.. haha."

"Isa pa pala mahal, alam mo ba na dati madalas ko lang tinitingnan yung telepono ko dahil sa orasan kasi nga wala akong relo pero ngayon, madalas ko na yang tingnan dahil baka nagtext ka at kahit wala akong load, magkakaroon ako, mareplyan lang kita."

"Mahaba ba? Xenxa na mahal, enjoy lang talagang gumawa ng letter lalo na sa taong mahal na mahal mo ng sobra! ..Na kahit may pasok ka pa ng 8 AM bukas eh magpapakapuyat ka kasi nga mahal mo at alam mong matutuwa siya sa letter mo."

"Nami-miss na talaga kita mahal... nakakabaliw... mas nadadalian ko pa ngang isipin yung mga quiz at exam sa school kesa yung iisipin ko na nami-miss kita. :'("

"Basta mahal kahit na pareho tayong nawi-weirdohan sa mga nangyayari... medyo awkward... haha .. mahal na mahal kita talaga... at hindi `yun magbabago khit na magmahal ka pa ng iba."

"Kasi iniisip ko sana, kung pwede lang na ikaw siya... Kasi ikaw yung mahal ko, hindi siya."

"Miss na miss na kita mahal. At mahal na mahal kita... Kahit itanong mo pa kay Lord... Itanong mo lang pero wag ka pupunta.. haha.. kasi for sure susundan kita... kasi ayokong mawala ka... mahal na mahal kita... mahal... kathleen... kath, kat, katz... basta kahit anu pang name mo... mahal pa rin kita.. Love you mahal.. Miss you a lot.. mwaaa"

-END WEEK 3-

-START 06 APRIL 2011-

Alam mo namang never kita makakalimutan... Kathleen S. Musni... parehas tayo ng middle initial mahal.. dahil mahal na kita kahit nung si Kathleen Musni ka pa lang.

Eh kasi naman mahal, yung mga text ng iba... ordinaryong.. hi mics, hello mics... musta na? wat gawa mo?, nago-OJT ka pala? (Sinabi ko na ngang nago-OJT ako, ganu`n pa ire-reply.. nakakagago lang, di wag na lang replyan.) ..mas masarap pang i-type yung 'i love you mahal.' ... :)

Gusto ko kasi mahal palagi ka masaya.. Palagi kita napapasaya, para kahit di tayo nagkikita, nararamdaman mo pa din na mahal kita. :)

-END 06 APRIL 2011-

Mahal, sorry talaga. Mahal, yung mga ganung tao, bitter lang `yun sa buhay nila kasi walang nagmamahal sa kanila. Wala ka sa buhay nila at wala ako sa kanila. Kasi nasa iyo ako... at nasa akin ka. - 08 April 2011, Friday

Date A Girl Who Reads

Date A Girl Who Reads
by Rosemarie Urquico

(In Response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date An Illiterate Girl)

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.